In honor of Sweetcakes and Jesus

July 4th,

Today is Monday. I only say that to reference when the events I'm about to document occurred, both because I'm lazy and not figuring out the date (okay, exposed... it would have been 7/1) and because then you'll have an idea of how recently this happened.

Friday evening, we got home sort of late, to find that Sweetcakes (mine and Smiles favorite goat) had wrapped herself up terribly in her leash and died. It looked like a very tragic death. I was pretty shook up by it. I couldn't imagine being Eli, who found her first (I am just so overwhelmed with gratitude that it wasn't Eli's favorite, Fluffhead). So Smiles, Eli and I dug a hole by battery-operated lantern light, in the middle of the night.

Our goats are actually more like pets than livestock to us. They don't have fencing, so we share space. They follow us around like puppies and give us back rubs whenever we lay on the hammock. Beezer even licks us clean (the salt on our skin appeals to this nursing mama). Sweetcakes was, by far, the sweetest and most mellow. I chose her, when she was about 2 weeks old, for this very reason. She just curled up contentedly in my arms and I knew she was a sweet, sweet goat, thus her name. She proved to live up to it. She grew into a gorgeous young lady too, with a shiny, soft coat, an elegant torso. I often admired how beautiful she had become. She was probably to me, like Joseph was to Jacob, she just had my heart, out of all the goats. She was the one I wanted to grow old with.

Now onto Jesus. He's much better to speak of than anything else....

As soon as it happened, I knew I needed to worship Him and thank Him for it. My prayer was something to the effect of "God, I don't understand this. I wish it could have been any other of the goats, except Fluffhead, but I know that You chose Sweetcakes, because You know best and You are going to work the greatest good out of it".

The next day, I dropped the kids at the ball field and rode my bike to the bike trail, in order to get some time praying and reading the Word. The Lord led me to 1 Thessalonians 5. While reading through it, one word stood out to me, probably because the Lord spoke clearly to me regarding that one word... "sober". God tells us to be sober. In the context, it's speaking of the fact that Jesus may come back any second, so we out to be sober. But what God spoke to me was that "sober" does not only mean, clear-headed and not on drugs, but it also means that we need to be ever mindful of the character of God.

Later on in the passage, it says to "rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks". If it were not for the fact that God has spent years teaching me to praise and trust Him in adversity, both for the good that He is working through it, but also for His faithful, unchanging character of sovereign goodness, that causes Him to always do what's best... to always redeem suffering, then I never could have responded with fulfilling worship, only anguish.

I know that it says in Proverbs that "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding". I thank God SO much for giving me knowledge of Him, that I could have understanding of His purposes (to cause all things to work together for good for His kids), even when human sight doesn't perceive the situation as a blessing.

I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving and peace, even though I still miss my favorite goat. I'm also extremely thankful that He would have me thank Him for the loss of a goat, not a child. I can't imagine having to lift my hands in worship over that loss, and pray that I never have to... but I pray that if I ever lose a human family member, that the good Lord would enable me to lift my hands in praise to the God Who is greater than all the treasures this world could afford us. I don't know how folks can keep breathing without Jesus. How do people even cause their mouths to smile. I know my mouth barely smiled before Jesus gave His life (and joy) to me... and when my mouth did smile, it was so superficial, compared to the smiles that radiate out of my heart to my lips nowadays.

Jesus, thank You for loving me! Thank You for giving me love for You! Thank You for the Life that You've filled me with, and reminding me when I feel sorrowful, that You are an ever present Source of Joy and Hope... and that You matter more than any circumstances.

Space Welch