It's the 4th of July. We call this Independence Day, and celebrate our freedom. Seems silly to me, when Freedom really comes from finding dependence on Christ. Oh well, life's full of oxy-morons and the kingdom of heaven spins earthly wisdom on it's head.
Happy 4th, everyone.
~space
Monday, July 4, 2011
In honor of Sweetcakes and Jesus
July 4th,
Today is Monday. I only say that to reference when the events I'm about to document occurred, both because I'm lazy and not figuring out the date (okay, exposed... it would have been 7/1) and because then you'll have an idea of how recently this happened.
Friday evening, we got home sort of late, to find that Sweetcakes (mine and Smiles favorite goat) had wrapped herself up terribly in her leash and died. It looked like a very tragic death. I was pretty shook up by it. I couldn't imagine being Eli, who found her first (I am just so overwhelmed with gratitude that it wasn't Eli's favorite, Fluffhead). So Smiles, Eli and I dug a hole by battery-operated lantern light, in the middle of the night.
Our goats are actually more like pets than livestock to us. They don't have fencing, so we share space. They follow us around like puppies and give us back rubs whenever we lay on the hammock. Beezer even licks us clean (the salt on our skin appeals to this nursing mama). Sweetcakes was, by far, the sweetest and most mellow. I chose her, when she was about 2 weeks old, for this very reason. She just curled up contentedly in my arms and I knew she was a sweet, sweet goat, thus her name. She proved to live up to it. She grew into a gorgeous young lady too, with a shiny, soft coat, an elegant torso. I often admired how beautiful she had become. She was probably to me, like Joseph was to Jacob, she just had my heart, out of all the goats. She was the one I wanted to grow old with.
Now onto Jesus. He's much better to speak of than anything else....
As soon as it happened, I knew I needed to worship Him and thank Him for it. My prayer was something to the effect of "God, I don't understand this. I wish it could have been any other of the goats, except Fluffhead, but I know that You chose Sweetcakes, because You know best and You are going to work the greatest good out of it".
The next day, I dropped the kids at the ball field and rode my bike to the bike trail, in order to get some time praying and reading the Word. The Lord led me to 1 Thessalonians 5. While reading through it, one word stood out to me, probably because the Lord spoke clearly to me regarding that one word... "sober". God tells us to be sober. In the context, it's speaking of the fact that Jesus may come back any second, so we out to be sober. But what God spoke to me was that "sober" does not only mean, clear-headed and not on drugs, but it also means that we need to be ever mindful of the character of God.
Later on in the passage, it says to "rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks". If it were not for the fact that God has spent years teaching me to praise and trust Him in adversity, both for the good that He is working through it, but also for His faithful, unchanging character of sovereign goodness, that causes Him to always do what's best... to always redeem suffering, then I never could have responded with fulfilling worship, only anguish.
I know that it says in Proverbs that "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding". I thank God SO much for giving me knowledge of Him, that I could have understanding of His purposes (to cause all things to work together for good for His kids), even when human sight doesn't perceive the situation as a blessing.
I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving and peace, even though I still miss my favorite goat. I'm also extremely thankful that He would have me thank Him for the loss of a goat, not a child. I can't imagine having to lift my hands in worship over that loss, and pray that I never have to... but I pray that if I ever lose a human family member, that the good Lord would enable me to lift my hands in praise to the God Who is greater than all the treasures this world could afford us. I don't know how folks can keep breathing without Jesus. How do people even cause their mouths to smile. I know my mouth barely smiled before Jesus gave His life (and joy) to me... and when my mouth did smile, it was so superficial, compared to the smiles that radiate out of my heart to my lips nowadays.
Jesus, thank You for loving me! Thank You for giving me love for You! Thank You for the Life that You've filled me with, and reminding me when I feel sorrowful, that You are an ever present Source of Joy and Hope... and that You matter more than any circumstances.
Space Welch
Today is Monday. I only say that to reference when the events I'm about to document occurred, both because I'm lazy and not figuring out the date (okay, exposed... it would have been 7/1) and because then you'll have an idea of how recently this happened.
Friday evening, we got home sort of late, to find that Sweetcakes (mine and Smiles favorite goat) had wrapped herself up terribly in her leash and died. It looked like a very tragic death. I was pretty shook up by it. I couldn't imagine being Eli, who found her first (I am just so overwhelmed with gratitude that it wasn't Eli's favorite, Fluffhead). So Smiles, Eli and I dug a hole by battery-operated lantern light, in the middle of the night.
Our goats are actually more like pets than livestock to us. They don't have fencing, so we share space. They follow us around like puppies and give us back rubs whenever we lay on the hammock. Beezer even licks us clean (the salt on our skin appeals to this nursing mama). Sweetcakes was, by far, the sweetest and most mellow. I chose her, when she was about 2 weeks old, for this very reason. She just curled up contentedly in my arms and I knew she was a sweet, sweet goat, thus her name. She proved to live up to it. She grew into a gorgeous young lady too, with a shiny, soft coat, an elegant torso. I often admired how beautiful she had become. She was probably to me, like Joseph was to Jacob, she just had my heart, out of all the goats. She was the one I wanted to grow old with.
Now onto Jesus. He's much better to speak of than anything else....
As soon as it happened, I knew I needed to worship Him and thank Him for it. My prayer was something to the effect of "God, I don't understand this. I wish it could have been any other of the goats, except Fluffhead, but I know that You chose Sweetcakes, because You know best and You are going to work the greatest good out of it".
The next day, I dropped the kids at the ball field and rode my bike to the bike trail, in order to get some time praying and reading the Word. The Lord led me to 1 Thessalonians 5. While reading through it, one word stood out to me, probably because the Lord spoke clearly to me regarding that one word... "sober". God tells us to be sober. In the context, it's speaking of the fact that Jesus may come back any second, so we out to be sober. But what God spoke to me was that "sober" does not only mean, clear-headed and not on drugs, but it also means that we need to be ever mindful of the character of God.
Later on in the passage, it says to "rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks". If it were not for the fact that God has spent years teaching me to praise and trust Him in adversity, both for the good that He is working through it, but also for His faithful, unchanging character of sovereign goodness, that causes Him to always do what's best... to always redeem suffering, then I never could have responded with fulfilling worship, only anguish.
I know that it says in Proverbs that "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding". I thank God SO much for giving me knowledge of Him, that I could have understanding of His purposes (to cause all things to work together for good for His kids), even when human sight doesn't perceive the situation as a blessing.
I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving and peace, even though I still miss my favorite goat. I'm also extremely thankful that He would have me thank Him for the loss of a goat, not a child. I can't imagine having to lift my hands in worship over that loss, and pray that I never have to... but I pray that if I ever lose a human family member, that the good Lord would enable me to lift my hands in praise to the God Who is greater than all the treasures this world could afford us. I don't know how folks can keep breathing without Jesus. How do people even cause their mouths to smile. I know my mouth barely smiled before Jesus gave His life (and joy) to me... and when my mouth did smile, it was so superficial, compared to the smiles that radiate out of my heart to my lips nowadays.
Jesus, thank You for loving me! Thank You for giving me love for You! Thank You for the Life that You've filled me with, and reminding me when I feel sorrowful, that You are an ever present Source of Joy and Hope... and that You matter more than any circumstances.
Space Welch
Saturday, April 16, 2011
resting thankfully in busyness
So life is crazy busy at the moment... and there isn't really anything I can do about it, except to look towards heaven. But the good news is, that when I look up to my glorious Helper, I find the thankfulness needed to see that He is accomplishing great things in the midst of it.
Busyness may very well be the thing that makes me most stressed out. Isn't it funny how we often just need stretched in those areas where it is particularly difficult and inconvenient for us to be tried? If we are allowed to stay in our comfort zone (which for me is restful and home-centered), then we won't likely grow as well.
On the flip side, learning to rest has been quite the challenge as well. In this moment of clarity, I realize and recognize how much of a miraculous thing it is that I can say that rest is much more natural to me than busyness (though I am learning that the two are not neccessarily antonyms). Glory to God for that! I had to LEARN how to rest, and it seems that He has done a great work in that regard.
I still think that rest is the higher road, but what I am learning is that rest is not always based on life circumstances (though I do feel tremendously sorry for folks who have made it terribly hard on themselves by chosing not to "lead a quiet life"). So I am learning to rest in the midst of chaos. I am also learning to thank God for my "manna", by recognizing circumstances as things ordained by God to perfect our souls. I am learning to see the blessings that would not exists were my circumstances any different. I am learning to sneak away, like Jesus did, even when I have to be more intentional in making the time. I am learning not to allow myself to feel "pressured" by the demands on me.
Not that I have mastered any of these things, otherwise I may not still be in this trial, but I am glad to be learning these things and glad to have the assurance that He is walking with me and leading me in the midst of all things.
What I am VERY thankful for is that I am observing the ways that God has and is changing me... and that He loves me enough to allow me to struggle through this, that in the end He may lead me to a more abundant place in Him. I am overwhelmed with gratitude as I see the ways that He has transformed me in the past many years, in order that trials would not seem surface-level anymore, but rather that they are rich opportunities for God to draw us into a deeper understanding of Him, as well as to be perfect us in the soul. May His name be forever praised!
Thankfully,
Space
Busyness may very well be the thing that makes me most stressed out. Isn't it funny how we often just need stretched in those areas where it is particularly difficult and inconvenient for us to be tried? If we are allowed to stay in our comfort zone (which for me is restful and home-centered), then we won't likely grow as well.
On the flip side, learning to rest has been quite the challenge as well. In this moment of clarity, I realize and recognize how much of a miraculous thing it is that I can say that rest is much more natural to me than busyness (though I am learning that the two are not neccessarily antonyms). Glory to God for that! I had to LEARN how to rest, and it seems that He has done a great work in that regard.
I still think that rest is the higher road, but what I am learning is that rest is not always based on life circumstances (though I do feel tremendously sorry for folks who have made it terribly hard on themselves by chosing not to "lead a quiet life"). So I am learning to rest in the midst of chaos. I am also learning to thank God for my "manna", by recognizing circumstances as things ordained by God to perfect our souls. I am learning to see the blessings that would not exists were my circumstances any different. I am learning to sneak away, like Jesus did, even when I have to be more intentional in making the time. I am learning not to allow myself to feel "pressured" by the demands on me.
Not that I have mastered any of these things, otherwise I may not still be in this trial, but I am glad to be learning these things and glad to have the assurance that He is walking with me and leading me in the midst of all things.
What I am VERY thankful for is that I am observing the ways that God has and is changing me... and that He loves me enough to allow me to struggle through this, that in the end He may lead me to a more abundant place in Him. I am overwhelmed with gratitude as I see the ways that He has transformed me in the past many years, in order that trials would not seem surface-level anymore, but rather that they are rich opportunities for God to draw us into a deeper understanding of Him, as well as to be perfect us in the soul. May His name be forever praised!
Thankfully,
Space
Friday, February 18, 2011
For those who asked...
Someone had encouraged me to blog awhile back and I blew them off (and now apologize for it). I'm sure if there was anytime in life that folks would be blessed by my online journaling, it'd be now. Well, perhaps my parents would have appreciated it even more when we were hitch-hiking the country... pre-everyone-has-a-cell-phone era. It may have prevented some anxiety.
So, life is unique for us. We have been learning so much, out here on the farm. We bought 20 acres last June, moved onto it in the beginning of July... and bought a school bus so our kids would have something to live in (the land came equipped with a pond, forest, field and sunshine, but that's it). Since then, we've begun constructing an outhouse, de-foresting a homesite, remodeling a school bus, etc., etc., etc. I don't even remember what all we've done, but I do have it written down on a different computer.
Smiles is now delivering milk for a local creamery. Forest is now thriving in public school. Eli and Simon are great "farm hands". I'm homeschooling (sort-of), selling soap at craft fairs, and helping Smiles cultivate this plot of dirt that God blessed us with.
Our family is closer than ever and happier than ever. We were walking down a gorgeous moonlit driveway last night, contemplating the fact that people that have lived with little possessions (on purpose) tend to consider those the best times of their life.
We are so happy, full of peace and joy... not just because of life circumstances, in fact I am pleasantly surprised and even more thankful to see that peace and joy despite circumstances. I find that it is easier than in times past to be prayerful and aware of the Presence and Character of God. I have noticed that my reaction to circumstances is not as likely to be based on my knee-jerk reaction, as it was in times past, but rather on my knowledge of the Holy One (Prov. 9:10). I recall, as a younger Christian, longing for the days when I would feel like I wasn't such an ignorant baby, regarding the Character and Word of God, and though I still have an immeasurable amount of growth to experience, I also feel this precious comfort of knowing that He has brought me thus far in knowing Him, intimately knowing Him.
It's a sweet encouragement for me, as I look forward to knowing God more richly in the future and wonder what sort of other wonders await me as I enjoy being His precious daughter. I am always surprised when I see His work in me... it seems so unlikely. 2 Corinthians 4:7 says "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels (folks like you and me) so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from oursleves". I love that He does something so unlikely, as living inside common people, and shining through us. Only a God that gracious....
We are so fully of vision and enthusiasm... excited to see what our land is becoming, and feeling as though our diligent labors are very purposeful and fulfilling.
That's all I have to say at the moment, I will try not to entirely forget about this whole blogging thing, though it's a new endeavor and I have lots of other endeavors vying for my attention (like finishing our "Poop Palace" and dropping more trees. Someone remind me to post the journaling that I've done regarding our land progress and projects.
Space Welch~ Feb. 18th, 2011 A.D.
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